


R.A.B.

by buttons_n_bose



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Goodbyes, I Don't Even Know, I'm Sorry, Letters, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), No Plot/Plotless, Not a Story, POV Regulus Black, Regulus Black Deserves Better, Regulus Black Feels, literally just a letter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-21 21:53:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30028374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttons_n_bose/pseuds/buttons_n_bose
Summary: Knowing his death was just around the corner, Regulus wrote a letter to say goodbye to the one person he always thought would be there.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	R.A.B.

Sirius,

I was looking at my Hogwarts tie this morning, and it reminded me of when you left. Not... that time. The first time. I didn’t like the idea of you going to Hogwarts. I was scared you’d make new friends and forget all about me. But you promised you wouldn’t, and you got me that broach of the Hogwarts crest, and you said you’d write to me every week. I’d wake up early every Saturday morning and wait by the window for your letter, did you know that? You didn’t miss a single letter your first year. Not one.

But then you met Potter, and Lupin, and Pettigrew. Say what you want, but I know you forgot about me. I tried not to dwell on it too much. It was only one more year until I would be at Hogwarts. You being in Gryffindor was hard on Mum, but I didn’t care.

Can I tell you a secret, Sirius? I wanted to be a Gryffindor, too. I didn’t care if Mum hated me, or disowned me, or burned me off the tapestry. I wanted to be like you. You were always my hero.

I remember the day I didn’t get your letter. It was mid-December and you said you wouldn’t be coming home for Christmas that year. I begged you to reconsider, swore I would talk to Mum and Dad and we’d sort something out. They wouldn’t even have to know, if we planned it right. But your reply never came. Not that Saturday, or ever again. It took almost a month for me to stop waiting.

I want you to know that I never hated you. Not how Mum and Dad did. I hated you the way a little brother does. I hated you for stealing my wand within hours of me getting it. I hated you for sneaking olives in my food just because I said I don’t like them. And I hated you for leaving me with them.

Don’t you remember promising that we’d get out? I have the flag you made after Mum yelled at us for making a mess of the lounge, folded very small and tucked into my History of Magic textbook. “Sirius and Regulus: Hooligans At Large.” I didn’t even know what a hooligan was. But because of you, I never thought it was a particularly bad thing. I know better now, of course.

But you did make it out, so congratulations are in order, I suppose. And you’ve made quite a name for yourself. I suppose that’s why I did what I did. I wanted to make a name for myself, even if it was the name that everyone expected.

The good news is, I’ve seen the error of my ways. The bad news is...I’m too late. I’ve been backed into a corner, Sirius, and the only way out is down. I’m meant to go with the Dark Lord tonight— I’m afraid I can’t tell you where— and I have it on fairly good authority that I won’t be returning. Whatever I may say, I want this letter to be my true last words.

And so, despite everything, despite the years of silence and the awful things we said to each other the last time we spoke...I love you. I love you, Sirius, I always have. I always will. I think, deep down, you love me, too. I know you have a hard time saying it, but you always have. You never said it at Hogwarts, and you rarely said it at home, but I always knew. I knew in the way that you’d sneak me dinner when Mum sent me to bed without, and the way we listened to Muggle records on your bedroom floor when our parents weren’t home. I knew because when Mum said she never wanted to talk to you again, you started sending letters straight to my bedroom window. I knew because at the end of the day, it was us against them.

And now, it’s you against them. I’m sorry to leave you, brother. Although, to be fair, you did leave me first.

I’ll see you again. Though it may not be the ideal reunion.

Cordially,  
Regulus Arcturus Black


End file.
